The worst nightmare in my life was again at hand….the next marriage proposal again that weekend when I was looking forward to a pleasant weekend after the successful completion of my software project completion targets.
I was to meet the guys parents the next Sunday and I was coached upon the protocol to be followed in the presence of my parents would be in laws and their prospective groom from US.
And by no means I was the only girl they were considering. They had more options. Once they shortlisted a few eligible candidates, he would come down from the U.S. for the final selection.
Arranged marriages are basically flawed. It’s like a selection trial for different institutes all combined into one.. Everyone has different selection parameters and criteria; the power of decision is heavily one-sided; and, usually, the primary reason one gets into it is either to show off to the prying relatives or to guarantee a continual life-long supply of finances through the spouse’s salary/dowry/properties to be inherited or more preferably, all. Yes, that would guarantee a safe future but would that guarantee a happy future? Safety is not all that happiness is made of.
The most basic thing about any marriage is that the 2 have something in common. That they are comfortable in each others presence and that’s possible only by knowing a person well enough which is a process that could take months….the knowing specifically does not mean the degrees and salary. There is something indefinable that ensures that two people are compatible. The decision of a partner for life is not in any way a simple one or one that can be taken individually.
These days people don’t buy even the most basic products without consulting others but in the end it’s their own decision that matters. The same can be said about marriage too. Parent’s and elders advice are crucial but the final decision lies upon us…the whole system is not flawed..just that it needs a little tweaking
What I would expect from a marriage is that I be comfortable with the person I would be betrothed to for life. Being with a stranger in a country unknown to me is possible only in the wildest of my dreams.
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